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Joke of the Day

"Women that date guys with bad grammar are the goodest."

"Why is it ""romantic"" when Aladdin sings A Whole New World while flying on a carpet but ""pathetic"" when I sing it while laying on a bath mat?"

"""Look, daddy! I'm a doctor!"" ""Did you know that's the same doctor kit I played with as a ki... OMG YOU DIDN'T LICK ANY OF IT, DID YOU?"""

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection. ""Maybe you should wait outside while I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"As a child Moses auditioned for his school play but he didn't get the part. Ironic."

"I was trying to teach my dog to dance. But he has two left feet."

"told my mum i wanted to get a tattoo in a disgusted manner she replied 'over my dead body!' i was like, 'well i was planning on getting it on mine, whilst breathing'"

"What do you call a short mexican? A paragraph, hes not a full essay yet."

"Oh vajazzled is definitely going on my bucket list. I'll pity the fool that has to jazzle my vag."

"SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL! CAT! SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL! MAILMAN! SQUIRREL! ~ Dog Acing Rorschach Test"