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Joke of the Day

"Can I call you? Crush: Yes Errm, I called but you didn't pick Crush: I said you could call, I never said I'd pick up"

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"Boss told me to glue 2 pieces of wood together Totally nailed it"
"They say in 1990 a vagina almost took Bill Clinton down Now it looks like a weiner may take Hillary"
"What do you call it when you cover your penis in postage stamps? Junk mail. (Credit to one if my FB friends)"
"What do you call a short, round-bellied Salarian? Mordin Volus"
"Tape is so anti social It likes to stick to itself."
"Overheard in a restaurant. Grandma: ""Oh, I could really go for a Quickie right about now!"" Grandpa: ""It's pronounced a Quiche, dear!"""
"When it comes to penis size I'm happy to report that I'm actually a little above average. Thank god for Asians."
"A working class man goes to a fancy restaurant He just finished ordering his appetizer when the waiter asks ""Entree?"". The man says ""No! On a plate!"""
"Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally."