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Joke of the Day
"Definition: Coffin What they carry you offin."
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"Three Paddys"
"Here lies IcarusIsNotLonely, upon his gravestone lie his last words: ""Oh fuck, a car!"""
"How do you tell if you have a high sperm count. She chews before she swallows."
"As I've gotten older, I've realized the world can be seen through a million perspectives. Mine and 999,999 wrong ones."
"What does trail mix have in common with a nursing home? They're both filled with nuts"
"They told me to bring an exotic animal I said alpaca Llama They asked if that was a hybrid"
"You can't spell Chipotle without E. Coli"
"I approach the boring task of buying tampons with the same procrastination used when needing to fill the car up with petrol: ignore depleting supplies until well in the red."
"Don't you just hate when people reply with ""This?"" This."