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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the two silk worms that got in a fight? It ended in a tie."

"martha stewart put a drop of citrus oil in the bong water and i cant even be mad at her. in fact it is the opposite emotion"

"A friend told me this one... Why did the cyclops close his school? Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends"

"My son claims he ""loves me,"" but the contents with which he fills diapers he KNOWS I'LL BE CHANGING suggests otherwise."

"[spelling bee] judge: your word is serendipity. me: can you use it in a sentence. judge: sure. gary googled the word serendipity."

"What's Glenn's favorite fast food? Popeyes!"

"I smoked before going to the dentist & didn't know they would let me have laughing gas &watch Netflix Im cross faded af having the best time"

"I just found that there's such a thing as a cheese shop and now I'm changing my vacation plans."

"Have you heard the joke about Ebola yet? You probably won't get it."

"I want to tell the sun to stop being so self-centered But the world does revolve around him"