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Joke of the Day

"The poodle said to the german shepherd.. ""Hey, you're foaming at the mouth! Do you have rabies?"" The german shepherd smiled and calmly replied ""Nah. I just got done blowing myself."""

"What do computers and air conditioners have in common? Neither work when you open windows."

"""I like my women like i like my eggs...."" Whites only. (or millions of other one-word punchlines, depending on how dark you want to go.) ""Fertilized"" ""Beat"" ""Rotten"" ""xtra-large"""

"So they have warning signs for drivers to look out for pedestrians on their cell phone now. Put up warning signs for pedestrians that the driver might be looking at their cellphone. Problem solved"

"What's the problem with auto-erotic asphyxia? You don't know if you're coming or going"

"You look cute without glasses. my glasses."

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? ""What are you shakin' for? Shes gonna eat me."""

"Earrings Why do chicks wear those big, jangly earrings? ... ... Stirrups"

"I asked my English friend what his favourite summer accessory is. He said, ""Clouds."""

"I heard the chief of police on the news saying ""we will never forget 9 11"" I should bloody hope so its your phone number"