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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my cock up your mom's ass"

"How do you know an engineer is an extrovert? He stares at *your* shoes while he talks to you."

"Poor Will... Everyone's always firing at him. A joke my grandad would use on occasion."

"Why was the doctor stressed? He was losing his patients"

"Maybe if you knew Garfield's parents were murdered on a monday by anti lasagna activists you wouldn't be so judgmental."

"Hey girl, did you fall from heaven? Because you have a seriously fucked up face."

"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."

"My wife and I agreed to only smoke after sex. I've had the same pack of cigarettes for 6 months... She's up to 2 packs a day."

"Never underestimate a woman sitting quietly in a corner sharpening a knife."

"""What are the names of the 3 greatest kings who have brought more happiness and peace into people's lives than anything else?"" Answer: Smo-KING, drin-KING, and fuc-KING !"