175785

Joke of the Day

"Ellen Pao's front teeth"

"What can be said about a rich man who doesn't carry change with him? He's got more money than cents"

"2015. Worse than the death of paper is the death of staplers. Rest in peace you sexy plastic alligators."

"Did you hear the weather forecast for the hiphop festival? ...They're calling for a Lil Wayne"

"Crazy People How do crazy people go through the forest?"

"Fed Up with PETA. We should start an organization called People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals. We'd be knows as a bunch of P.U.T.As"

"Scientists hard at work to find out what the other 98% of 2% milk is: ""Probably not bees,"" says one scientist. ""Dear god what if it's bees?"""

"MOM ITS NOT A DOLLHOUSE IM PRETENDING TO BE A GIANTE THATS TERRORIZING A FAMILY GOSH *waits for mom to leave* and im makig them have tea"

"a rock fell out my pocket and i crouched down to find it and a bunch of people helped like i lost a contact. had to pretend it wasn't a rock"

"Hub: This looks delicious! I love spaghetti! Me: I know Hub: Pass the foot powder. ~and that's why I can never eat Parmesan cheese again"