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Joke of the Day

"Hub: This looks delicious! I love spaghetti! Me: I know Hub: Pass the foot powder. ~and that's why I can never eat Parmesan cheese again"

"Who are the greatest financiers in the bible? Noah, all his stock was afloat when the rest of the world was in liquidation, and Pharaohs' daughter, who went to the bank and found a little prophet."

"If your Facebook picture is a photo of a sunset or something inanimate, I'll assume you have a dissociative identity disorder."

"Life's a bitch, Because if it was a slut, It would be easy."

"Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a ""hole."" Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq."

"People can be so easy to read... ...like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime."

"Friend (seeing my bookcases): Wow, have you read all of these books? Me: Have you? Friend: No. Me: Then yes. Yes I have."

"I have a hole in my sock... Darn it!"

"This is a frightening statistic 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness! That's scary! It means 75% are running around untreated!"

"What does Gordon Ramsay say when he gets a rash? IT'S FUCKING RAW!"