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Joke of the Day

"We had a nice, quiet dinner last night... Except for the Celery, of course!"

"Some of you might get this. Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar.... .... And doesn't."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with a pencil."

"Aphantasia I was reading about a guy that lives with aphantasia, but I just can't picture what that would be like."

"You can reach 80 years Doctor: Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe you can reach 80 years. *But doctor, I am already 80!* You see - I told you to quit smoking."

"""Let's see what you're made of!"" he says on approach, knife in hand. ""Good."" I mutter. ""Another adversary who paid no attention in Biology."""

"I remember the last thing my grandad said to me before he kicked the bucket. ""I'm going to kick this bucket"""

"What's green and hairy and skies down a mountain a skiwi"

"FYI: If someone says ""I'm game,"" you can legally shoot them. You should probably check your state and local hunting regulations though."

"Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it? Because there could be an Italian dressing inside."