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Joke of the Day

"Aphantasia I was reading about a guy that lives with aphantasia, but I just can't picture what that would be like."

"I'm straight, but I'm not ""wouldn't spoon with George Clooney"" straight."

"My phone can hold 5000 songs or 1 voicemail from my mom"

"Funny how they say we need to talk when they really mean you need to listen."

"A National Treasure where Nicholas Cage has to find the model number on a 15 year old dishwasher."

"My daughter was whining about her chores. She asked if she needed to vacuum the whole apartment. I said, ""no, just do the floor."""

"""Isn't it strange how we were all once an egg?"" I told my wife. ""Well, grandpa still is,"" interrupted my son."

"I just found out I'm colorblind... It sure came out of the yellow."

"My girlfriend was getting kinky in bed, and she said, ""Hurt me! Hurt me!"" So I got in my car and ran over her cat."

"Two midgets are sitting around, bored... When one of them pulls out some weed and asks: ""Wanna get medium?"""