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Joke of the Day

"When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head."

"I didn't text you just to exercise my fingers, I was expecting a reply back..."

"How many mods does it take to screw in a light bulb? [removed]"

"I wanted to make my racing snail faster.. So I took off its shell. If anything it became a lot more sluggish."

"AMA Request: Innocent, uneducated rapist"

"""We are going to Taiwan"" Juan: No, please don't!"

"What's all this talk about Reddit's servers being down? Guess I can't see what everyone else sees."

"I wonder if I could fit my entire body inside a woman's. Through her mouth. Penis-first."

"""I'd make an awesome president. Give me a problem, any problem."" ""Um, population control?"" ""Kill all the storks. BOOM!"""

"What did the blind paraplegic get for Christmas? cancer."