56776
Joke of the Day
"I didn't text you just to exercise my fingers, I was expecting a reply back..."
Next Joke
"What's black and sits on top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."
"Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve breakfast"""
"I just made myself a sandwich... which, if I'm understanding Twitter law correctly... makes me my own bitch."
"Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava But only once"
"I threw up my hands in disgust last night. Knew I shouldn't have eaten them."
"My cat just showed it's holiday spirit by pooping tinsel."
"So a termite walks into a bar. He then proceeds to ask, ""where's the bar tender""?"
"ME: ""Trick or bear?"" NEIGHBOR: ""Bear?"" ME: ""HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR!"" [distant roar and sounds of clanking chains]"
"Why did the doe give the faun an umbrella? In case of reindeer. And because I caribou."