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Joke of the Day
"Dank memes What came out of the dank meme's butt? Mountain doo doo"
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"Im half scotch. And i dont mean scottish."
"What do you call A man in an iron suit flying by the king of the North? A Stark contrast"
"[At the coroners' to identify a body] Me: ""Yep. That's a body all right."""
"*texts son ""dont say me"" as wife heads to his bedroom* wife to son: why did you put next years date on your science paper about time travel?"
"Australia wants to secede from the Commonwealth to distance itself from the British Monarchy... It will no longer be a kingdom and it can't be a principality, so it has to be a country."
"Whole foods? More like whole paycheck."
"Why was the Nun admitted to rehab.... Because she had a habit! I'll just show myself out"
"Why don't tennis players ever get married? Because love means nothing to them."
"Breaking news A landslide recently struck downtown Chicago, causing $3 million worth of improvements."