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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know... Oreos."

"life is just a series of people giving up on you til your body gives up too but yeah sure, I'll bring my famous guacamole to the baby shower"

"I got a job at the circus. I had to circumcise the elephants. The wages weren't great but the tips were enormous."

"A GoFundMe, so I can buy an avocado."

"My computer sings. It's a Dell."

"What is a Japanese favourite beverage that they don't remember? ""Affogato"""

"""The last ''Sup?'"" - cool Bible"

"Who did the chickens vote for president? Baraaaaaak Obama"

"*stands next to ATM and cheers every time someone wins money*"

"I appreciate the transparency Domino's pizza tracker provides, but updates like ""Carl dropped your pizza"" & ""5 second rule"" are a bit much."