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Joke of the Day

"[trying not to think about Sonic The Hedgehog during sex] Her: faster! faster! Me: oh god no"

"What kind of cologne applies itself? Elon Musk"

"After a tornado tore through town, thankfully no one was hurt. The trees were stripped bare, though. God breathed a sigh of releaf."

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance..... ..... I'll show him"

"So I got kicked out of the library the other day... For moving all the women's rights books to the fiction section."

"What blood type do people from Taiwan have? Taipei"

"If a blind girl says you have a big penis She's probably just pulling your leg"

"What's the best thing about dating a homeless chick? You can drop her off anywhere!"

"Do you know what happens when gay marriage is legalized? BREAKING NEWS: California's drought is over. Water supply flourishing from the tears of the racist, homophobic, and conservative southerners"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey"