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Joke of the Day

"A baby seal walks into a club. please dont hate me"

"It's not often that one gets the opportunity to speak about someone intelligent, respected and admired. Unfortunately tonight I have to talk about (NAME)."

"It's really only a matter of time before Lady Gaga gets Justin Beiber pregnant."

"Abortion, just brings out the kid in you."

"I'm pretty big on body art *pulls up sleeve to reveal tattoo of a hoof with ""Hoof-arted"" written underneath*"

"What is Mario's favorite material? Denim Denim Denim"

"Did you know Helen Keller had a male roommate? (Neither did she.)"

"Before the internet, it was way harder to google stuff"

"Space Joke What did the engineers say to the crew of astronauts after they discovered they didnt install the rockets correctly.... Guys, we really Apollo-gize"

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your moms throat!"