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Joke of the Day

"Avast, me buckos! It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so let's hear your most swashbuckling puns and AAAARRRRRRGUE about whose is best/worst."

"Some people say I have no idea how to run a court room. I'll let you be the judge."

"An apple a day keeps the doctors away! With that logic a bullet a day should keep the retards away!"

"What did one mandarin say to the other mandarin? I don't know, I don't speak Mandarin."

"Vodka and I go together like falling down the stairs and getting fucked in my sleep."

"I told my dad I didn't want to walk all the way there... ...He said: ""That's a lame excuse""."

"Q: What kind of fish has two knees? A: A tunee fish."

"I would like to tell you guys a joke... ...but I'd rather keep it about the film."

"How come my wife can't hold her bladder for more than three hours but she can hold a grudge for fourteen years?"

"What is the opposite of an autistic? A Socialist."