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Joke of the Day

"I was the Wikipedia of my school. People expected me to help with their homework, but completely ignored my constant requests for money."

"Every onion looks like it was in an abusive relationship."

"Why are ophans no good at baseball? They dont know where home is."

"Managed to scare off my prison pen pal. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover what's wrong with me."

"Doctor: we saved your dad but he's part owl now Son: Dad it's me Dad: *head turned 180* who Son: very funny Doctor: yeah he has amnesia too"

"Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors? Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues."

"I thought chiropractors were a waste of money But I stand corrected."

"Told my dad about watching Friends on Netflix... Replies with: ""It's better than watching enemies on netflix."""

"What do you call it when batman skips church? Christian bale."

"I can't remember this joke. This joke had a sadist, masochis, murderer, rapist, and some other guys all talking about what they were going to do to a cat. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?"