224030

Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when batman skips church? Christian bale."

"Honey, were out of snake food. ""What? For what snake?"" Honey, I bought a snake"

"I wouldn't say I hate my dad... But I can't deny he's a real motherfucker."

"I watched the bonus features on a porn movie today. It just showed a woman crying in the shower, washing all the cum out of her hair."

"*Cooks dinner for family* Gets arrested for attempting to cause great bodily harm"

"How does ISIS turn on their water heater? They light the pilot on fire."

"Did you hear about the guy that ran into a window? He was in a lot of pane."

"What's the best way to search a linen store? Undercover."

"I take my women just how I take my hair conditioner with silicone"

"My twitter crush just broke up with me for saying WWE wasn't real. The irony is not lost here."