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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my Starbucks coffee. Left cold and empty with my name written across them."

"Help your friends diet by replacing the light in their fridge with an air horn."

"What happened to German Orphans after WW2? Did they ever get back on the Reich track? (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)"

"Xbox exclusive games"

"like my grandfather did, i want to die peacefully in my sleep... ...not screaming and yelling like his passengers"

"""Can you believe that after all that shit they're still together?"" Who? ""My buttcheeks."""

"What does BMW mean Some say Bitch Moan Wine others say Black mans Willy Post what you think"

"What sort of undergarments does a succinct pugilist wear? Boxer briefs!"

"When people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... ""I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"""

"They asked if I could perform the castration. I said I could pull it off."