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Joke of the Day
"Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Food is great but the atmosphere is terrible!"
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"""This race is over,"" said Donald Trump, referring to the entire human race if he is elected president."
"What do Taylor Swift and Avada Kedavra have in common? They'll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar."
"Why are all jewish men circumcised? ...because jewish women don't take anything without 10% off."
"Alabama changed the legal drinking age to 33. They're trying to keep it out of high schools."
"It's hotter than A Nazi oven in the summer."
"*on phone* He: so where is this going, babe? Me: *dumps pop rocks into mouth* I can't hear you...reception's bad!!"
"What do you say to your sister when she's crying? Are you having a crisis?"
"As far as I can tell, the only thing ghosts do is set up obstacle courses when I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee"
"If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country. If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political post; I just want to travel."