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Joke of the Day

"As far as I can tell, the only thing ghosts do is set up obstacle courses when I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee"

"Why does everybody like the mushroom? Because he's a fun guy."

"Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life.... It's not me, I think you're a prick."

"What happens to illegally parked frogs ? They get toad away."

"What do you call a vegetable that's only kinda cool? Radish"

"Him: Want to play Trivial Pursuit? Me: Sure. But I guarantee you'll win. I'm not that smart. Him: Want to play strip Trivial Pursuit?"

"What's the right age to tell a film that it's adapted?"

"If Zombies ever switch to eating souls, I'll have the last laugh on everyone whoever made fun of me for being a Ginger"

"A foreign kid asked me how to speak English the other day, so I teached him some."

"How do you stop an Italian from talking? Tie his hands together"