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Joke of the Day

"Your momma so dumb she drove around looking for the App Store"

"Nobody should regret anything that made them smile."

"What do DNA and Diarrhea have in common? They both run in your jeans (genes)"

"If You're every attacked by a gang of clowns... go for the juggler."

"If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple ""Thank you"" would be nice... ...None of that ""How did you get into my house?"" business."

"So I bought this cheap brand of toilet paper... They called it velvet soft. It should have been called James Bond 007. Because every time after I use it, I lift my hand up and I've got a GoldFinger."

"Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!"

"Opinions are like orgasms Mines more important and I really don't care if you have one."

"Why am I still hearing noises from the class? Because you still have ears, teacher."

"My Welsh mate was found dead yesterday. He died the way he would have wanted to go... He passed away peacefully in his sheep"