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Joke of the Day

"Rape Some say rape isn't funny. Anything can be funny in the right context. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. - George Carlin"

"Last night someone bashed my car window & stole my purse so I hope this thief enjoys his 17 tampons, stale gum & Sephora rewards card."

"A dark sense of humor is like a hospital. Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies."

"I just finished a whole stick chap stick without losing it or replacing it. In case any of you women want to know how faithful I am."

"For the low, low price of $14.95, I'll send you my instructional DVD, ""How to Succeed as a Con Man."""

"Me- ""Sorry I can't"" Friend- ""Why not?"" M- ""Working on my book"" F- ""Neato! What about?"" M- ""It's a collection of ways to escape obligations"""

"Just found a scary-looking Pokemon on my living room sofa. But then I realised it was my mother-in-law."

"A man decides to give up his fancy lifestyle and moves to the wilderness to live with bears. He claims that he only needs the bear necessities."

"Because Nickleback sucks too.... So Avril Lavigne is Married to a fellow Canadian, who is a band member of Nickleback.... Apparently Canada does not have laws against same suck marriage. ba dump bump!"

"I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking."