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Joke of the Day

"4: Mommy, you're just like a Disney movie. We should play pretend. Me: Aww! Sure! 4:You can be the Beast. Me: ... 4: Or the fat sea witch!"

"What's Moby Dick's Dad's name? Papa Boner"

"What if 85% of Homeless veterans are 2LTs lost on a land navigation course?"

"If Princess Peach fixed shoes for a living she's be Princess Peach Cobbler lol thanks for following"

"What do you get when you dry out a Stark? Raisin Bran"

"When I get a dog I am going to name it syndrome Because when he jumps up on me I can shout ""Down syndrome"""

"DATING TIP: Girls love sensitive guys. Loudly wince when she touches you. Re-apply sunblock 38 times. Bring up how often your gums bleed."

"I never believed that faith could move mountains But I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers"

"The man entered his home... and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house."

"What currency do they use in space? Star bucks."