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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a person who fights fire? Firefighter."

"I'll never forget my little girl's first words... ""Where are my parents?"""

"What's the tragedy with little people? They lead such short lives."

"My dog really needs to learn how to drive a stick because what good is fetching one bottle of vodka."

"Menstruation is NOT a laughing matter. Period."

"I once saw a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds..."

"My friend keeps dressing up like a pregnant Corgi for Halloween... Me: ""Dude, stop being be bitch!"""

"We should call them Whether Men, because they don't know whether or not it's going to rain, get it? That's a good one."

"A lawyer, a tax-man and a murderer jump off a cliff in a race to the bottom. who wins? society"

"When my husband brags that girls hit on him at work, I just remind him that I make more money than him. We both go to bed happy."