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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a person who fights fire? Firefighter."

"Honest ads - 'Hot singles in your area want to be just friends'. 'Hot singles in your area think of you more like a brother'."

"Here's a fact about bees: They don't give a shit about your petty little problems. They've got a fucking job to do. Time is honey."

"I don't think Major Tom was much of an astronaut - Ground Control had to tell him to put his helmet on, FFS. That's pretty basic stuff."

"I don't have sex with my sister because it's unacceptable and gross. I have sex with her because it's kinky."

"Whats the name of the arachnid playwright?"

"What's black and white and can't fit through a door? (x-post r/AntiJokes) A zebra with a spear through its head."

"Is a brain dead cow a vegetable? My room mate came up with this one earlier, has anyone ever heard it?"

"Girl, are you an iron-bearing ore? Because when I smelt you, I got taken to a whole other level of civilization.."

"Why dont sharks ... Why don't sharks eat black people? They think it's whale shit"