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Joke of the Day

"What did the carpenters call their brass quartet? The Tuba Four"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa"

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? Matt. No arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob."

"My wife said I don't do enough work around the house. Its like she thinks this FB account just runs itself.........smh"

"Very normal stages of anger: 1) kinda upset 2) crying 3) imagining yourself singing a revengeful song to them at a talent show"

"How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? He doesn't, he's dead!"

"Maybe it's the LSD talking but I am the walrus goo goo goo joob."

"I'd read a book written by the person who pushes the room service cart into people's hotel rooms."

"I would tell you a complicated joke But there is no chance that your incapable human mind has any possibility of comprehending what it means."

"They just discovered a terrorist cell in Rome... this summer we might have Italian Isis."