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Joke of the Day

"What kind of typewriters do vampires like? Blood type-writers."

"My Mormon neighbor said it was rude I assumed her husband's surprise birthday party invitation was also an invitation to be her sister wife."

"What fruit makes you confused? Papayas See, you're confused right?"

"Why did the pig have ink all over his face? Because it came out of the pen."

"Why did the brother octopi look so alike? They were itentacle twins."

"Skeletor: Nice ride He-Man: Thanks Skeletor: Prince Adam has a pet tiger too He-Man: Yeah? Complete different guy though"

"If Donald Trump becomes the President of the United States of America... ...there will be hell toupee!"

"Police arrested two kids yesterday... ...one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"The Venn diagram of ""stuff I was supposed to do today"" and ""stuff I did today"" is two separate circles and the second one is a pizza"

"FYI wearing camouflage at your desk so no one sees you masturbating doesn't work."