174757

Joke of the Day

"I rely too much on Outlook. My calendar has ""leave work"" at 6, ""brush teeth"" tonight at 11, and a ""blink"" alert recurring every 2.5 seconds."

"Bought a receiver for 99.75 $ yesterday Got a quarter back"

"Why monkeys make terrible drivers: bad depth perception, suffer from road rage & fling poop at other drivers."

"What sea creature is the most self-centered? A shellfish"

"Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no."

"What do you call a laptop that ejaculates metal? Computer"

"Decided to sell my vacuum today well, it was just collecting dust. /thank you Tim Vine"

"I was at the confessional booth the other day and I asked the priest if he thought it would be a good idea to stop masturbating He said ""Sure, If it bothers you, I'll stop""."

"Two fish are in a tank One says to the other i'll man the guns you drive"

"Probably once a year some dumb Whale excitedly swims up to the coast of Wales humming, ""Mama, I'm coming home."""