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Joke of the Day

"coining ""twoosh"", a contraction of tweet-swoosh. It's when your tweet hits exactly 140 characters sans editing. Nothing but net."

"A man brought a dead animal onto a plane... When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, ""It's my carrion luggage!"""

"I asked my band teacher to raise my F He gave me an FF instead."

"Baby showers are so weird. It's like ""hey, congrats on having a functional reproductive system""."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? Oscillate his tits a lot."

"What do you call a snobish criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Recursion is a curious concept because it can refer to sentences, such as this one, that refer to curious concepts."

"A magician is driving down the street... ...and turns into a driveway."

"""If anyone knows a reason why these two should not marry, speak n-"" SHE ONCE COMMENTED 'FIRST' ON A YOUTUBE VIDEO *ring bearer vomits*"

"I saw a Nun with her clothes inside-out today... I asked her about it, and she said it was *a bad habit of hers*"