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Joke of the Day

"Decided to announce that I'm gay today after being relieved of my constipation. It felt so good coming out."

"So they are re-releasing the movie crash... And they have recast the part of Sandra Bullock with an A320"

"My girlfriend was taking a survey online about ""Which holiday describes your sex life?"" She wasn't happy with me when I chimed in, ""Day of the Dead."""

"Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don't get orange. No weirdos."

"[Emergency Room] MRS. PINATA: Will my husband make it, doc? DOCTOR *slurping on sucker*: We'll do what we can but he's lost a lot of candy"

"Why don't klansmen like to eat sushi? because that would be a case of rice mixing"

"What does an identity thief look like? A mirror."

"Jimmy Kimmel, Justin Beiber and The Burger King walk into a boxing mach..."

"You know how to detect procrastinator,"

"What happens when you put the Energizer bunny's batteries in backwards? It keeps coming, and coming, and coming..."