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Joke of the Day

"Decided to announce that I'm gay today after being relieved of my constipation. It felt so good coming out."

"Doctor: ""Good news you passed your hearing test!"" Patient: ""HUH"""

"How do rocks feel about moss? It's growing on them."

"How do you put an elephant in a Safeway bag? Take the ""s"" out of Safe and the ""f"" out of way."

"Whats the difference between jam and jelly? I cant jelly my dick up your ass"

"My wife acts like she wants to have sex, but then we don't. I googled it, it's called cuddling."

"What's Rihanna's favorite type of apple? She doesn't have one. She'll eat anyone that's bruised!"

"What side of the American flag are the stars on? Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day."

"How did the pastry chef do on the donut-making exam? She passed with frying crullers."

"Worried that Adele's next album might be delayed if she discovers Pinterest."