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Joke of the Day

"The embarrassing moment when you bring handcuffs to 'gamenight' and she brings Monopoly."

"On Canada Day, I like to say ""HAPPY CANADA DAY!"" to people. But quietly. And from a distance. I don't want to be a bother."

"If you want to use excessive force and get away with it too. Just join your local police force."

"Will playing ""GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony"" make me a homosexual? Same question for ""GTA IV: The Lost and The Damned."

"A little boy skips school... Grandpa: ""Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!!"" Little Boy: ""No you go hide because I told her you were dead!"""

"When a cop asks if you know why they pulled you over, smile, take their hand in yours and say, ""Sounds like somebody needed a friend"""

"My neighbour is in the Guinness book of world records. He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away, in fact."

"So ... Helium walks into a bar Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says: ""We don't serve noble gasses here."" Helium doesn't react."

"Why is the area between a woman's breast and hips called a waist? Because you can easily fit a second pair of boobs in there."

"I knew someone that was frozen to absolute zero once. He was 0K."