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Joke of the Day

"Why is the customer service at the Reddit Restaurant so terrible? Because all of the servers are busy."

"There are two rules for success: 1) Don't tell all you know."

"My favorite music-related limerick A tutor who taught on the flute, tried to teach two young tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, ""Is it harder to toot or, to tutor two tooters to toot?"""

"The only real importance in life is getting ahead. Head. I meant to say head."

"NRA member: I've got guns. I'm in charge. Me: That's nice. I've got bubonic plague - ""cough, cough"" - now you do, too. I win."

"So I had this idea to make money by selling bottled bottles ...It made no cents"

"What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely it's a gift!"

"[1692 Salem] ""BURN THE WITCH"" U HAVE A CROOKED NOSE, WITCH ""No, Frank, at the stake"" [quickly lighting torch] Right, I knew that."

"I tried out for the part of Jesus in my school play.... I think I nailed it"

"What's the difference between dollars and Jews? I give a shit when I lose 6 million dollars."