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Joke of the Day

"I tried out for the part of Jesus in my school play.... I think I nailed it"

"Why do managers like pizza? It comes out of the box"

"My boss threw a Snickers at me and I caught it one handed so I think I'd be a good athlete if sports were played with candy bars"

"A punchline my Japanese girlfriend came up with: What's black, white, and red all over? A Black Santa Claus!!!"

"What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp? A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks."

"I enjoy reading, long walks on the beach, and getting myself into situations where the only way out is to fake my own death."

"New BMWs don't have a dipstick located in the engine anymore They're now located in the driver seat"

"Don't try to sell a membership to the president of the fan club."

"Why Is Chemistry Racist? It's very selective. Edit. My first time making a joke. I know I can't make a joke. This is not directed at anyone."

"Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet smooth and they usually head right for your hips."