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Joke of the Day

"My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant. I can't take anything out in time."

"Q: What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow? A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night?!"

"DEODORANT: ugh i hate my job, gotta go in his gross armpit all the time TOILET PAPER: bro"

"""I think we should touch other people's faces"" - blind break up"

"A guy just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy."

"q: what's brown and sits on the piano, steaming ? a: Beethoven's 1st movement."

"I had a wet dream about you last night I dreamed that you got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing."

"People are like traffic lights You have to judge them by colour"

"Never call a woman fat An elephant never forgets."

"What is worst then a repost???"