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Joke of the Day

"I hope I don't get bitten by a vampire when I'm old and have to spend eternity as a senior citizen."

"Women is born with two vaginas The parents and the doctor thought it was a miracle until poop came out of the second one"

"I asked the offspring how to make BBQ taste better Gotta keep em marinated. ...I'll just leave now."

"What do Angels fans and gay men both have in common? They both love Pujols"

"Hell hath no fury like a woman mad for no particular reason."

"So the square root of -1 is performing in a Broadway show Suddenly, an audience member stands up and shouts ""I'm sure everyone will agree that i could replace you!"""

"Tourette's convention rally What do we want?! A CURE FOR TOURETTE!! When do we want it?! CUNT! SHIT! FUCK!"

"Play Mambo No. 5 at my funeral even if you have to fight my family"

"What do you call a building you can't locate? A warehouse"

"I told my chiropractor that my spine was already in alignment, but he proved me wrong. Now I stand corrected."