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Joke of the Day

"I farted on the bus today and 4 people turned around. I felt like I was on The Voice!"

"Q: What makes a chef sadder the skinnier it gets? A: An onion."

"Do you know why one side of the V Is slightly larger when birds fly together? Because there are more birds on that side."

"I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."

"Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams... and its dream was to be a submarine."

"No need to worry if your parachute don't unfold... ... You'll have the rest of your life to fix it."

"The groom upon his engagement went to his father and said ""I've found a woman just like mother!"" His father replied ""So what do you want from me sympathy?"""

"""GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND WE MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD FOR ANYTHING"" ""sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"" ""Oh rad, bring it in"""

"Your momma is so classless... she could be a Marxist utopia"