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Joke of the Day

"I walked in a Library... I walked in a library and asked the librarian for a book about small penises. The librarian said, ""I'm not sure if it's in yet"". I replied ""Yeah, that's the one"""

"How does Steve Bannon, Trump's Senior Chief Strategist feel after he gets over a cold? Alt-Right"

"I'm sorry my dollar isn't straight enough for you, homophobic vending machine."

"[job interview] HR: Says here you're very good at multi-tasking *me taking a selfie & spinning in chair HR: *whispering ""wow he's good"""

"iPad Apple will be unveiling a larger iPad. Proctor & Gamble is set to file suit over trademark infringements over Apple's new Max iPad."

"I asked my Welsh friend how many partners he's had in his life... he started to count and he fell asleep."

"I always said ""Aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."" But apparently that's not a valid excuse and I can't work for NASA anymore."

"Cashier's playing dumb cause I said ""venti"" at a non-Starbucks. You know what I mean, dude, just point me to the biggest dildo you guys got."

"At first I was reluctant to fix my broken fence... but then I just had to repost."

"I've decided to go on the ""England World Cup Diet"" It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads! (England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)"