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Joke of the Day

"We must be in the bathroom... because uraneight. I literally just made this up, might explain why its so so"

"I lost my mood ring last night... I'm not sure how I feel about that"

"Your loud tweeting woke me up. Someone must have typed in all caps."

"What said a person who got run over by a car? ""I'm tired""."

"Why are a good majority of Americans obese? At least the food won't take away their rights. Do a little oppression of their own."

"By reading this tweet, you have earned a masters in communication from Stephen Colbert ""University."" Standard text messaging rates apply."

"There was a problem with my AC device It's all cool now though"

"I'm in trouble with my wife. I totally forgot her special birthday' that was such a big deal apparently. Still, everything went fine and it was a healthy baby boy!"

"What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet."

"I like to scream ""YOURE MAKING A SCENE!"" Whenever someone asks me for directions."