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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I meet a guy named Paul, I ask if it's short for Paula, then I laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & making friends is hard. :("

"My daughter can open just about any front door using a credit card, so your kids honor roll certificate seems a little useless right now."

"They think they have found the the remains of Dick the Shit. Sorry, I meant Richard the Turd!"

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

"Only 2 more weeks! My wife promised me that if I kept the baby alive for a year I could get a plant!"

"Where do birds meet for coffee ? In a nest-cafe !"

"Why can't the sun talk? (First post) It doesn't have an ellipse."

"The worst thing you can do to a woman is to not let her see the picture you just took of her."

"What do you call an Irishman who's had eight beers? The designated driver."

"How many mm^3 of dirt is there in a hole 1m x 1m x 1m? There is no dirt in the hole!"