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Joke of the Day

"Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!"

"I'm so pale all of my relationships are interracial."

"Why should Rihanna date the Edmonton Oilers? Because they don't beat anybody."

"Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me. He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz"

"The only meal my girlfriend ever makes for me is alphabet soup because even when we aren't fighting she still loves to put words in my mouth"

"Go 3 days without your favorite thing. Then go 3 days without sleep. It turns out sleep is actually your favorite thing."

"How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. It *has* to be seven."

"What do you call a trespassing camper? Criminal intent"

"Could you buy me something cheap for lunch, please? Sure thing, how about the gluten? It's free"

"What do you call 12 enchiladas? A footilada!"