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Joke of the Day
"Batteries have a tough life. They're either working or dead."
Next Joke
"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean? I've never had a lima bean on my face."
"Avenge me but only if it's convenient."
"I haven't seen a kid on a leash in a while. I guess parents started releasing them back into the wild."
"What Do You Call A Blank Piece Of Paper? WOMEN'S RIGHTS!!!"
"""It's payback time, bitches!"" - What I think every morning now that I wake my kids up."
"A man takes his wife to the disco... https://anchor.fm/w/989B00"
"Cop: What happened? Me: A Smart Car hit one of those little Fiats. Cop: Can you describe the accident. Me: Adorable?"
"""I think it's about time we had a white president"" - 8 year olds"
"him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses."