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Joke of the Day

"How does a female deer get revenge on her cheating husband? She goes into town and blows a few bucks!"

"What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never paid to have lentil on me."

"The police came to my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes My dogs don't even have bikes."

"Last month, I asked my dad if I could get a tattoo. He told me to get it somewhere that didn't matter, so I got it done in Oklahoma."

"What do you get when you squeeze a synagogue? Fresh Jews."

"""You haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you?"" It always felt like a strange way for my girlfriend to start a conversation..."

"What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ? The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !"

"Girls use lotion for hands Boys use lotion for skin."

"When I die I want my funeral to be closed casket but like half way thru someone opens the lid and surprise - it's a nacho bar inside"