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Joke of the Day

"I dated a midget, but I had to break up with her. She was always sticking her nose in my business."

"My girlfriend had a heart to heart conversation with me today. She said she wanted some time and distance. Cool! She must really want to calculate velocity"

"Answer : Mrs.Claus Question : Who was the only person in history that was unhappy when Santa came early?"

"Got thrown out of the theater during the Superman movie but was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses."

"Saw a guy with a barcode tattoo on his neck. Scanned it with my RedLaser app & he couldn't believe I found him cheaper on 3 online stores"

"Whats the name of the band with the most hits? the hitlers!"

"I told my dog to ""Lie."" He said ""Meow."" Now I don't know what to do."

"Merry Christmas. Did anyone get a car with a giant ribbon on top? Has anyone ever? Do those ribbons even exist?"

"Facebook now tags fake news stories from sites like The Onion with #satire to protect users who lack 1st grade critical thinking skills."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."