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Joke of the Day
"Amoeba: dad, how was I made? Amoeba Dad: well son, when a man loves himself very much"
Next Joke
"My friend had one of those novelty leg lamps from the Christmas Story movie, but he lost it recently... Now he's a lamputee"
"What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living? A bad gambler"
"I asked a friend if he'd eat a piece of dog crap for $1K and he asked ""From whose dog?"" I'm having a hard time accepting that as a factor."
"My wife doesn't have a Honey-Do list. She has a Cantaloupe list, which has all the girls I'm not allowed to run away with"
"Forget everything you learned in College.... ""Forget everything you learned in College, you won't need it working here."" ""But I never went to college."" ""I'm sorry your not qualified to work here."""
"What do you do if you're attacked by a bunch of Carnies? Go for the Jugular (juggler)!"
"Every day is a new day. For someone with Alzheimer's or Dementia."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog."
"What's Rihanna's favorite type of apple? She doesn't have one. She'll eat anyone that's bruised!"