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Joke of the Day

"How to make a Disney Pixar film: 1. Take something that doesn't talk 2. Make it talk"

"Wife: [eats hotdog, spills mustard & relish on her blouse] Me: HELLO TEMPTRESS"

"How to keep a reader in suspense? [removed]"

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear."

"As I sit here naked in Hugh Jackman's hotel room, it occurs to me that I might have mixed up my bucket list with my wife's."

"Follow your dream, then Unfollow it if it doesn't Follow you back within 48 hours."

"What is a ghost's favorite type of porn? Boo-kakke."

"What's a black person of the United States called? A frickin' American. What'd you expect, something racist?"

"Why is it bad for blind people to skydive? It scares the hell out of the dog"

"Two Thai girls offered me a threesome. It was like winning the lottery. When we stripped off we had six matching balls."