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Joke of the Day

"My uncle died from a turtle stampede. It was a slow death."

"What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, YOU RACIST SON OF A BITCH!"

"Is your refrigerator running? Because I would vote for it."

"How do you get 1000 dead babies into the bed of a pickup truck? A blender! How do you get them out? Nacho chips!"

"When do clocks die?When their time is up."

"I went to a feminist picnic the other day... It was great, apart from the fact that no one made any sandwiches."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.. One was a salted"

"Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example."

"I hate taking my paraplegic dog out for walks. It's a real drag."

"Your ex asking if you can still be friends is like kidnappers saying ""keep in touch"" after they let you go."