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Joke of the Day

"Two snowmen are standing in a snowy field... And after 3 hours of complete silence, one turns to the other and asks ""Can you smell carrots?"""

"What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer? Shoes wisely"

"Can we make it a rule not to put anything after the punchline? Seriously, it ruins the joke every time without fail."

"what do you call a grenade thrown into a french kitchen? linoleum blownapart"

"If these celebrity stints in rehab were any shorter, they'd be drive-thrus."

"Giving me a Milkbone after sex does not make it doggy style"

"what do you call the space between kim kardashian's breasts? silicon valley"

"As a younger man, I used to think women were only good for one thing... As I've gotten older I've realized......I'm better at doing that myself too."

"A Zen student asked his master, ""Is it OK to use email?"" ""Yes,"" replied the master, ""But no attachments."""

"A Scotsman invented the first condom. It was made out of a sheep's intestine. Not too long after, the British improved on it by first removing the intestine from the sheep."