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Joke of the Day
"What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer? Shoes wisely"
Next Joke
"Pick up a book, any book. Open to the middle, and read the first paragraph. Make sense? Welcome to Twitter."
"God: why don't we text anymore? Me: you know why God: I can't just give everyone a Sega whenever they ask. That's not how it works Me: k"
"George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:""It's too desperate."" J:""How'd you find out?"" G:""I'm on both."""
"The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal."
"Where do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream"
"What do Engineers use as birth control? Their Personality."
"A speech should be like a woman's skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep it interesting!"
"An uneducated man was in the hospital` Doctor: I'm sorry,but your kidneys are failing Man: But my kidneys never went to a school?"
"""Something's keeping me from masturbating,"" the young woman confided to her doctor. ""I can't quite put my finger on it."""