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Joke of the Day

"good news Craig, we got your murder charge bumped down to theft. just tell us why you stole that dude's blood/bones"

"I wrote an essay about American Patriotism Then I pointed at it and started shouting ' You Essay! You Essay!'"

"A boy is asking santa for a heavy sweater for christmas present so santa send him a sumo wrestler"

"My friend likes going out.Recently he went out of his mind."

"If you look in your bathroom mirror & say ""Donald Trump"" 3 times, the hair in your shower drain rises up & starts yelling racist slurs."

"Why are blondes so easy to get into bed? Who cares?"

"My son is at that tender age where he believes me when I say that the dog ate the rest of the cookies out of the pantry."

"I leaked a sex tape of myself 3 months ago. It has 14 hits! Those hits are from me checking to see how many hits it has."

"The reason why Clinton is a super secret agent of the alt right is because... She has a frog in her throat."

"That's the last time Shang Tsung accompanies my family to the fish restaurant.... He spent all night trying to steal my brother's sole!"